You have likely seen it happen — a sermon hits close to home, God’s Word cuts deep and someone in the congregation wrestles with conviction. Instead of repenting or seeking guidance, they lash out — sometimes at the message, often at the messenger. Whether in a small group, Sunday School class or as a young pastor, it can be difficult to find one’s footing when they’re the messenger.
When we experience conviction in our lives, we recognize it as the work of the Holy Spirit (John 16:8). Our maturity in the faith leads us to appreciate conviction as an essential component of continued spiritual growth. Unfortunately, our human nature often responds to the discomfort of the Spirit’s prodding with deflection, defensiveness and dismissiveness. Regardless of our role in ministry, we must remember that the anger of a convicted saint rarely concerns us as personally as it seems. More likely, it points to a struggle with God. How can we shepherd people through this delicate season? This article explores some of the principles I’ve learned through the advice of those wiser than me and some lessons I’ve learned the hard way:
• Stay grounded in humility and prayer. When someone criticizes you or reacts angrily towards you, our natural reaction matches their defensiveness. We must guard our hearts against pride. Conviction does not come from us but from God’s Word and His Spirit. Our role focuses on being faithful messengers.
I’ve developed the practice of spending time in prayer before and after delivering messages, especially when I believe they have the potential to challenge the people I’ve been entrusted to care for. I ask God to work in their hearts and guard my heart against discouragement and resentment. I ask God to supply me with the wisdom and discernment I need to diagnose whether anger is rooted in conviction, personal struggles or legitimate concerns.
Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” When responding to criticism, speak with grace and humility. A gentle attitude can diffuse tension and keep the focus on God’s truth rather than personal conflict.
• Preach the Word, not yourself. I think I heard this originally from Alistair Begg, although I’m not sure where it originated. I’ve adopted five steps to sermon preparation — write empty, read full, write clear, pray hot, forget yourself and be yourself.Finding the right balance between relatability, transparency and vulnerability with forgetting oneself is a challenge. But I know when sermons consistently point to God’s Word instead of my opinions, people have to wrestle with God and not me.
When someone is angry after a lesson or sermon, gently point them back to the Bible. Ask, “What part of the message troubled you? Let’s look at that passage together.” This approach shifts the conversation from personal feelings to biblical truth, encouraging them to engage with God directly. At the same time, I must keep watch over myself so I do not come across as dismissive or condescending (my wife tells me that’s my default tone, although it isn’t my intent). Spiritual leaders must approach people as fellow sinners who need grace, not as judges.
• Be patient with the process. Conviction can be a long and painful journey. People may not respond immediately with repentance or understanding. They might wrestle for weeks, months or even years before surrendering to God’s work in their hearts.
As a young pastor, the temptation to expect quick results blinds us. Shepherding requires patience. Paul reminds Timothy to “preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke and exhort, with complete patience and teaching” (II Tim. 4:2 ESV). Keep loving your people, pray for them, teach them, and show them we are committed to their growth. Trust that God’s Word will not return void as He promised (Isaiah 55:11).
• Address the root, not just the fruit. Focusing on the outward behavior is easy when someone lashes out in anger. As shepherds, we must look deeper. What’s driving their reaction? Is it conviction over sin? Fear of change? Past wounds resurfacing? Ask gentle, probing questions to help them uncover the heart of the issue. By addressing the root cause and with the Spirit’s aid, you can guide saints toward genuine repentance and healing rather than surface-level behavior change.
• Equip yourself with wisdom. Pastoring people under conviction requires discernment. Seek counsel from older, more experienced pastors. Read books on pastoral care. Be careful not to surround yourself with people who are prone to agree with you — but people who challenge you and push you to care more deeply. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.”
• Trust the Holy Spirit to do the work. Ultimately, God convicts and brings about transformation in people. I cannot “fix” anyone. If someone’s anger feels overwhelming, take a step back and trust God to handle it. Keep loving them, and let the Spirit work in His timing.
Despite its challenges, shepherding people through conviction can be a rewarding part of ministry. I often feel inadequate for the task. But God is my strength. If I stay rooted in His Word and love His people well, I can trust Him. He is working even when I can’t see it. As you walk with your church or small group through these moments, you’ll grow in grace, patience and Christlikeness, just as they will.
