Three habits of mine collided this weekend — two old and one new. I spent the weekend reorganizing my home office, trying to make it usable again — an old habit of letting things descend into chaos. While doing that, I found my prayer journals and got sidetracked — another habit of getting easily distracted. My journals were scattered everywhere, buried in storage, tucked away in random places. I pulled them all together for the first time in years, and as I sat down to flip through them, I was overwhelmed.
Prayer journaling is a relatively new habit, but I can confidently call it a habit now because it has been 10 years. Back in 2014, Amanda and I committed that, no matter what, we would have a daily quiet time with God and journal our prayers. We had just worked through Henry Blackaby’s Experiencing God again, and I had been challenged by Mark Batterson’s Draw the Circle. I struggled most with consistency in my quiet time (even as a pastor), and prayer was where I struggled most. I’d lose focus. So, I started writing my prayers out like a letter. Amanda found bullet points worked better for her. We both began tracking our requests and recording answers. We haven’t been perfect, but we’ve fought to keep it up. It’s been easier for me since I can incorporate it into my ministry work, but Amanda has had to carve out time around teaching, family and life.
Finding those journals couldn’t have come at a better time. This past year has been the most transformative of my life, and looking through those pages made me realize why. The growth didn’t just happen. It was cultivated over years of seeking God, wrestling with Him and watching Him move. Here are some lessons I saw written across those bad handwriting-covered pages:
• God answers prayers. It was wild to see how many things I once thought were impossible, but now, I look back and wonder why I had ever doubted when I see page after page of answered prayers. We’ve made a habit of tracking them. In my last journal alone, I recorded 49 specific answered prayers. On average, I go through a journal every three to four months, and each tends to hold 40-60 documented answers. Without writing them down, I might have missed them entirely.
• God is drawing us to Him. Exodus 19:4 has always stuck with me. God tells Israel that the plagues, the parting of the Red Sea, the miracles in the wilderness — none of it was just about getting them to the Promised Land. It was about bringing them to Him. As I flipped through my journals, I saw the same pattern. It wasn’t just about the provision, the rescues or the blessings — it was about Him drawing me closer.
• God shapes us. I’m not the same person I was in 2014. There have been struggles, setbacks and victories, but through it all, God has been at work. Some trials He has resolved, while others I’m still waiting on, but each one of them has shaped me.
• God reveals our blind spots. That is part of how He shapes us, but it deserves its own point because we all have blind spots. No matter how long we’ve walked with God, we don’t see everything clearly. Looking back, I saw prayers I wrote in 2024 for struggles I didn’t even recognize in 2014. If we don’t seek Him and step where He leads, we’ll never confront those blind spots.
• God grows us incrementally. Transformation doesn’t happen overnight. As I read through my journals, it became clear that God has been slowly and patiently working in me over the years. It wasn’t a dramatic overnight shift. It was a gradual process, unfolding step by step, moment by moment, day by day. You may not notice your growth from one day to the next or even from one year to the next, but if you keep seeking Him and stepping forward, He produces fruit.
• God is kind. Another way to say God grows us incrementally is that He is patient. Scripture describes Him as longsuffering, and I see it in my life. I read through years of whining in my journals — praying the same thing, struggling with the same doubts. I got sick of myself just reading it. But God? He never gave up on me. It reminded me of the lyrics from Cory Asbury’s song “Kind”: “I’ve tried to run from Jesus, I’ve started holy wars. I’ve tried the patient waiting and the kicking down the doors. I’ve cursed His name in anger with my fist raised to the sky. And in return, all He’s ever been is kind.”
That’s been my experience too. He has been too kind to me.
• God is real. It sounds silly to say, but as I looked through my journals, I saw it repeatedly. On the days when He provided miraculously and showed up in ways only He could, I would write, “God, You are real.” It’s easy to get caught up in theology, debates and intellectual discussions about faith, but the reality is, when you look at how He moves in your life, there is no doubt — He is real.
You might be wondering, “What does this have to do with standing firm?” Everything. As I sat there, surrounded by a decade of prayers, I realized that my quiet times have been preparing me to stand firm. Every prayer, every request, every moment of seeking Him has been part of strengthening my faith for the battles ahead. If I’ve convinced you of anything, I hope it’s this — make the commitment, find a way to seek God daily, write it down and track what He does.
Amanda and I made that commitment 10 years ago, and I have never once regretted it.
