By Sarah Holliday, Reporter • The Washington Stand
Executive Editor’s Note: This article was originally published at washingtonstand.com/commentary/living-in-the-world-not-of-it-the-balance-of-finding-unity-while-standing-firm-in-truth.
“I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world,” Jesus prayed. “I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world” (John 17:14-16 ESV).
The phrase “in the world but not of the world” is one you’ve probably heard before. It’s one of those sayings that sounds reasonable, yet it’s undeniably easier said than done. At least for Christians, we understand that we are in the world, passing through, on our way to eternity. We also understand that we are not to be of the world in the sense that we submit our lives to Christ, putting off the desires of the flesh, avoiding temptations and resisting evil. We understand these things, but how can we ensure we’re living them out?
Particularly when confronted with those who are “of the world,” how do we juggle the balance of loving them while not condoning their worldliness? How can we navigate discourse between those we disagree with — whether they’re Christian or not? For many of us, it may be safe to say that we have a sense of needing to find unity where we can with those around us. And yet, in that pursuit, we must not neglect the command to speak the truth boldly and in love. How could we ever manage all this at once? To help us with this endeavor, there are a few goals worth prioritizing:
• Put God and His Word first. No matter what you’re doing, who you’re talking to, where you’re going or what you’re hoping for, putting God and His Word firstis the most important task for the believer. Proverbs 3:6 states, “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” The Apostle Paul wrote in I Cor. 10:31, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” The two greatest commandments are to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. These are all in God’s Word, and these are all rooted in putting God first.
If we want to catch the balance of finding unity with others while still standing firm in the truth, then we ought to be people first and foremost focused on glorifying God. Why? Because it’s glorifying to God to share His truth. It glorifies Him to love others. To be people who bear the fruits of the spirit is to glorify God with our love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
It is impossible to truly prize God and His Word more than anything and not be better off because of it. His Word is living and active. Our King is merciful and gracious. He is Himself love, and all things that are good, beautiful, and true flow from Him. When He is the one our gaze is fixed upon, we see the world differently. We’re quicker to see others (especially those of the world) not merely as obstacles or irritants but as people made in the image of God. We see sinners not so much as stumbling blocks but as people in need of salvation — just as we all are.
If you want to be a light to everyone around you, then make sure the Source of light is deeply and firmly planted within you. Be engaged in His Word. Seek Him daily in prayer. Earnestly seek to glorify Him in all you do, and you just may find yourself walking in a posture ready to communicate with anyone about anything in a way that is dignified, loving, truthful and fruitful. By seeking God and His Word first, you will certainly not be of the world. You will find that navigating your way in the world is not only possible but can be done well.
• Understand the biblical definition of love. Jesus said in John 13:35 that His disciples will be known for their love. Of course, love in biblical terms does not align with what the world defines love to be. And so, if we’re to be in the world but not of it, we must come to terms with the fact that we will have conversations with people we don’t agree with, which won’t go particularly well. We can do everything in our power to be cool, calm and collected, but it doesn’t change the fact that the truth is inherently offensive to those of the world. But as Christians, we know there is nothing more loving than to share this truth.
The Left has taken the word “love” and turned it into a hollow vessel that is then filled with subjectivity and vanity. They make attempts daily to use the whole “love your neighbor” as a ploy to drag Christians into worldliness. Understand love’s true, biblical definition, and you can avoid being fooled by such antics. A precise definition of biblical love can be found in I John 5:3: “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.”
Mark my words — it is not loving to cater to emotions when those emotions contradict the Word of God. Yes, we are called to be compassionate and care for struggling people. The truth may hurt, but it is never harmful. The truth is love and freedom and remembering this will help us hold our ground in conversations with people who are not like-minded. At the end of the day, their responses are not under our control.
• Make sure you know what you believe and why. This may actually be one of the most crucial steps to finding the balance of seeking unity while holding your ground. I Peter 3:15 states, “In your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.” Ephesians 4:15 talks about being equipped for ministry “so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.” The point is that we should have conviction about what we believe. We should be able to define and defend it clearly.
Ultimately, a common denominator between many arguments and unfruitful conversations is a sense of insecurity. In dialogue, where one or more people become hostile, angry or overly emotional, it’s often because they lack a sense of security in what they believe and the maturity to convey it. Conversations often get ugly when people feel they are losing in a conversation where they want to win. And so, while we can’t control how others behave, we can make sure we are confident in our beliefs to avoid being the one who gets offended, overly emotional and therefore unproductive.
As I see it, being humbly grounded in your beliefs allows you to be challenged without feeling attacked. You can be more empathetic by trying to see someone else’s point of view without sacrificing your own. A crucial aspect of having conversations with people we disagree with, particularly unbelievers, is why we want to have the conversation in the first place. It’s not because we want to win debates and arguments pridefully. It should be because we want to see souls won over to Christ.
This same logic applies to other believers with whom we have disagreements. We know we need to show love to our unbelieving neighbors, but sometimes, we forget to show love to those who consider themselves Christians but hold to different doctrines than we do. You can have doctrinal differences with other Christians and still engage appropriately. Remember, finding unity where we can, whether with Christians or non-Christians, is the first step to building genuine relationships that help lead to more (hopefully fruitful) dialogue in the future.
• Stay humble. All these points culminate in this — we must remain humble.Humility is not only biblical, but it’s necessary for healthy dialogue. Humility helps us approach conversations with the right attitude. It helps us respond better to those who do not behave well. It helps us be more compassionate when dealing with difficult people or having dicey conversations. We are all sinful, imperfect, messy humans. Humility reminds us of that. Unlike self-deprecation, which acts as a severe weight around our necks, pulling our heads in the sand, humility beckons us to look up to Christ.
Between the goals of putting God first, understanding what true love is, knowing what you believe and staying humble, you will be walking on a path leading you to success. I can’t give you a perfect equation that results in the perfect outcome when navigating how to speak with people we disagree with. But by prioritizing the right things, you’ll start to build muscle memory of love and care, rooted in a deep desire to know the truth so you are ready to share it. Human relationships are inherently complicated, but if you remember nothing else, all this can be summarized in an anonymous quote I recently stumbled upon — “Jesus sat with sinners; He didn’t sin with them. Know the difference.”
Sit with sinners. But don’t sin with them. And when you’re worried about what to say and how to say it, remember the words found in Luke 12: 11-12: “Do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” He is always with us. And praise be that He gives us the strength, wisdom, and discernment needed to live in and not of this world.
— Sarah Holliday is a reporter at The Washington Stand. Sarah Holliday serves as a reporter for The Washington Stand. She earned her undergrad from Boise State University in Creative Writing and Narrative Arts, as well as a Certificate in Arts and Theology from Reformation Bible College.
