Who is your biggest partner in ministry? Is it your lead pastor? The parents of your students? Your deacons? While all of these may be helpful, your biggest partner in ministry is your spouse. Family is incredibly important as we seek to serve the kingdom and our local church. We need to make it clear to our spouse and family that they are valuable. When they feel this, they will become your greatest supporters, helping you make an impact on the next generation for Jesus. However, if you overlook their feelings and needs, you risk creating potential enemies in your own home. For their sake and yours, it is essential to invest in our families as we seek to serve God by serving His people. Let me emphasize that if you hope to make it for the long haul, you must consistently invest in your spouse and children.
Too often, we feel like we must choose between family and ministry, but that simply is not the case. God has given us families as our first ministries. This is why one of the pastor’s qualifications states that we must manage our own households well (I Tim. 3:4). In loving our spouses and children, God shapes and molds us to love the others he places in our lives. Our home ministry is a part of our overall ministry, but it doesn’t stop there.
What are some things that we can do to invest in our families? How can we let them know they are significant to us? Here are some ideas to get you started:
• Plan for time with them. If you find yourself married with kids, you will need to schedule date and family nights. We must be intentional. It never just happens. Maybe a weekly date night or lunch with your spouse and a monthly family activity. Those may seem like small things, but honestly, it is easy for student ministry workers to get caught up in the activity of the role. A lot is going on, but if you put your date night or family day on your calendar, you can more confidently share that you already have something scheduled.
• Include them in ministry. My wife has been a vital part of my ministry for years. She would have girls’ Bible studies and pour herself into the young ladies at church. She was almost always my number one sponsor and kept me from going crazy a time or two when it got chaotic on youth trips. She is still there to help. I love her dearly and am so thankful for her faithful years of service in the church. However, you don’t want to forget your children. Even when they are young, they can go on home visits with you. They can spend time at the church house when you have to go prepare something. They can go on mission trips with you. My son went on his first mission trip in 2009. He was 11 or so. He saw how others in the church served outside of the building. He had the opportunity to serve and help. It was great. As it is appropriate, have your children tag along. They will learn, grow and see what you hope for them.
• Spend time discipling your children. It is easy to fall into the trap that your students’ parents do. They believe that their children will get all that they need from time at church. Discipleship requires more than just delivering your kids to AWANA or another Bible study class. It is asking questions before and after. It is reading the Word with them. It is taking time to pray with them. It is important for us to know that parents are the primary disciple-makers in the home. Our job as ministers is to assist in that process, not replace the parents.
• Grab hold of moments to have conversations and be present when you are present. Ministry is often busy for a season but not forever. There will be times when it is hard and time-consuming. It is important during those seasons to take advantage of the smaller moments around the table or in the car on the way to school. Ask about their friends, their passions and the other things going on in their lives. Set aside your phone, put the computer down and spend time with the family.
You may have a whole list of ways that you like to invest in your family. Share that with us in our Facebook group (Facebook.com/groups/StudentMinistryMattersCommunity). We all need to understand that if we hope to make it over the long haul in ministry. Our family needs to be on board. Pour into them and see how God will bless your ministry.
