I used to think my barber was an honest man. Then I asked him about my hairline.
I noticed the light reflecting off my scalp in a way it never had before. I already knew what that meant, but I clung to the bliss of ignorance and asked regardless. “How’s it looking up top?” Without hesitation, he assured me, “Looking good, looking good.”
It’s not just my barber. My tailor has his way of dodging the truth while helping me feel good about myself. The last time I went in for a suit fitting, I noticed we used a different cut. Since Michelle and I started our family, the numbers on the scale have started creeping up. “Ah, so I’m getting the big boy cut now, right?” I asked my tailor. “Oh no, sir,” he replied smoothly. “This is simply the executive cut.”
That’s when it hit me — my barber and my tailor aren’t in the business of telling the whole truth. They’re in the business of selling a good look and a little self-confidence. It was my mistake to expect an honest evaluation of my receding hairline and expanding waistline.
But some people are in the business of truth, and I expect honesty from them — no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
When I see my doctor, I expect to hear the truth about my health. Health professionals confront me with the consequences of my choices. When I meet with my accountant, I need the hard facts, even if the numbers aren’t in my favor. The same is true for the church. People should expect the truth from their pastors and Christian friends, especially when it is difficult.
The ministry of reconciliation calls us to be truth-tellers. Truth spoken in love has the power to restore, while deception — whether for flattery or avoidance — undermines trust and integrity. I wouldn’t ask my barber about my hairline again or consult my tailor about my diet. Regarding my spiritual life, I need people who will tell me the truth, even when it’s difficult to hear. As a follower of Christ, I owe the same to others to help them grow in faith.
We do no favors by withholding the truth. If we care for people, we will share the difficult realities gracefully and without compromise. There’s no room for flattery — only faithfulness in the pursuit of truth.
