You cannot deny your DNA. An all-knowing God created you, and you are wonderfully and fearfully made. You did not have a choice in where or when you would be born. It has been stated that, “Jesus may be in your heart, but Grandpa is in your bones.” You have a divinely determined wiring that causes you to operate a particular way. Also, the environment you were raised in significantly influences your approach to life. Your family of origin is the most powerful system that shapes your life. It is the very foundation that shapes your worldview and the lens through which you view life.
Exodus 34:7 speaks of how the sins of the father can be visited upon the children up to four generations. This is not a generational curse that can never be broken, but it is a valid truth that can transpire if Jesus is not allowed to intervene and deliver you from your iniquity. When you receive Christ (John 1:12), the Holy Spirit births you into His family, and you become one of His children. You are birthed into the family of God through the blood of Jesus Christ, and now the blood of your family of origin no longer must determine your destiny. You can break free from the bondage of sin.
This is the great news of the gospel. You have been given a new name, a new inheritance and a new power. This is why we are instructed to take off the old and put on the new. Discipleship is learning how to live in your new family with Jesus. Everything looks and is done differently, and your potential is now determined by faith in God and not controlled and enslaved to sin. You were taught to love your culture, country and family, but now your first priority is to obey Jesus. This is the process of sanctification which literally means “to set apart for special use or purpose” and that is His plan.
One of the hardest truths of Scripture to understand and implement is Luke 14:26: “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.” Just what is that saying? Your new family must take precedence over your old family, and Christ is now your first priority (Matt. 6:33). You are given the ability to discover who God uniquely made you to be while holding on to God’s truth simultaneously. The balancing act is maintaining close relationships while being obedient to your Lord and Savior.
One excellent example of this is David in I Samuel 17. The armies of the Lord are terrified, and no one is willing to accept the challenge of the top Philistine warrior. David is not only feeling the heat of Goliath’s challenge but also the complaints and charges being thrown at him by his own brothers. Then Saul tries to equip him with armor that was not suitable for his much smaller stature. David takes off the armor because it was not built for him. He must have looked foolish picking up those stones and heading toward Goliath, but David knew who God was, and he also knew who God had made him to be.
Jesus is the best example of understanding your family of origin and remaining obedient to God’s plan for your life. He always did His Father’s will. He completed that plan on the cross of Calvary. It did not happen without disappointing His family, disciples, the crowds and the religious leaders of the day. Know who you were created to be and be you, but be you in Christ. The challenge is learning to stand for your convictions without compromising your compassion. This can require breaking free from your family of origin to embrace the destiny God has for you.
How do you handle challenges and criticism? Are you driven by the Scriptures and God’s truth, or are you more reactionary, being controlled by the way you were raised? Do you have the John Wayne mentality of, “Never apologize. It’s a sign of weakness?” or have you submitted to the truth of James 5:16 by confessing when you are wrong? Do you hold a grudge and become angry because that is how your family of origin handled conflict, or do you seek resolution through forgiveness as found in Eph. 4:32? Does your family of origin or God’s Word control and direct your life?
You do not have to respond to that voice that you grew up with, nor should you, when it is contrary to God’s truth. You can learn to break free by trusting in Jesus to see you through this transition from the control of your family of origin to your flourishing as a part of the family of God. Ask yourself why you are feeling that way? Ask the Holy Spirit if there is any truth in how you are feeling? Get centered on God’s Word and discover His truth in how you are to handle the tough situations in your relationships. You are not the voices around you if you have an ear for the Holy Spirit (Rev. 2:7).
Your family of origin may cause you to walk with a limp, but you are not crippled because you can overcome all things through Christ (I John 4:4). This challenge will be painful at times, but there is good pain and bad pain, clean pain and dirty pain. Clean pain is good because it gets you to where you are going to do the work God has called you to do. It is described as godly sorrow in II Cor. 7:10. It is a deep, heartfelt regret for having sinned that leads to true repentance, a change of heart and a move toward salvation and spiritual growth.
God loves you and you are unrepeatable. Yes, you are one of a kind, made for His purpose and His glory.
