“I deserve better than this.” Do you? What does Scripture say about what any of us actually deserve? None of us deserves the love of God, but it is His grace that offers it to us, and if you are not careful, you can adopt an attitude of entitlement defined as “the fact of having the right to something.” Entitlement grows into a huge problem when someone begins to believe they are “inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.” There can be a thin line here, but our sin nature will kick into autopilot to make sure others understand how indispensable you are to the Kingdom of God. You are not.
The ministry is serious business, and the challenges are very multifaceted. Someone says, “I cannot do this” or “I am way in over my head.” Exactly! Psalm 127:1 tells us, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.” The ministry is tough, and multiple daunting situations cause you to realize how much this endeavor exceeds your abilities, training and knowledge. The reality is that God has called you into the ministry, and He has called you to be a shepherd to one of His flocks. God provides the skill, strength and resources needed to fulfill His calling on your life.
First and foremost, make sure of your calling, and as it has been well spoken before, “Don’t question in the dark what God showed you in the light.” He is faithful to see you through the hardest, most difficult situations you could ever imagine or experience. He promised never to leave or forsake you, and that is a promise you can stand upon in the midst of adversity and hard times. The reality is that none of us are that big of a deal, none of us. Ronnie Floyd stated, “When pride walks onto the stage, Jesus walks off.” It does not matter what you have accomplished. You are simply a servant of the living God.
On the Revitalize and Replant podcast, Mark Clifton and Mark Hallock discussedthree dangers leading up to entitlement — isolation, the lack of accountability and being defensive. Scripture is clear that the shepherd is supposed to know his sheep, but also that the sheep are to know the shepherd. The pulpit is only a small part of the pastor’s responsibility. Taking care of sheep is time-consuming and challenging, but you are called to interact with your sheep and build strong, lasting, discipleship-based relationships. Temptation flourishes in isolation because no one is watching.
Your life as a leader should be open to total observation so that the sheep can see how you are striving to be the man of God, He has called you to be. There is no need to be secretive about your desire to love them the way He loves you. It is not a good thing if the sheep are murmuring that no one seems to know you because your habits and patterns are so reclusive. Clifton and Hallock stated, “It’s ok to have your own life, but tell your secretary, tell your elders, tell people what you are doing. Don’t be doing these things in isolation.” Solitude is good when it drives you to God, but isolation can cause you to drift from God.
Be careful about becoming too isolated and insulated. Another danger is a lack of accountability. Trustworthy leaders seek out and submit to being answerable and accountable to someone. If they run from this, avoid this or reject this concept, beware. When I was considering pastoring again, I drove to the area and met with three men. My goal (demand) was that I would not come if they would not hold me accountable. I told them I did not want “yes men’” but men who had the character and integrity to step into my office, close the door, look into my eyes and say, “brother, we need to talk about this.”
Accountability is a blessing from the Lord, and all leaders need others who are close enough to them to say, “Hey, we love you, but we need to speak into your life right now.” Do not be upset that there is a group of people who know everything about your life and about what is going on in your ministry. It is a blessing and provides boundaries for you to stay on track for what God has called you to accomplish. Your wife is there to help you in this area as well. Mark Clifton stated, “Pastor, your wife should have access to every one of your passwords. She should be able to see everything on your computer and phone.”
If you do not believe you need accountability, you are already headed toward potential trouble. Here is another item to consider. Are you receptive to constructive criticism? Do others have permission to speak into your life? As a church leader, you must set the example by graciously receiving the concerns of others. The challenge is not always doing the right thing, but it goes much deeper by challenging us to do the right thing the right way. It is prideful when you project an unwillingness to hear feedback because you know what you are doing, and they do not. Be thankful for the input and consider its source.
A great question to always ask when confronted is, “What can I learn from this criticism to make me a better believer and leader?” It is not easy feeling like you are living in the proverbial fishbowl, but so often perception is reality. Even if you believe the criticism is 100% incorrect, you must pay attention to why that perception is out there and what you can do to change it in a Christlike manner. Maybe a part of the problem is that you have become isolated and difficult to approach. Has your inner circle developed an environment of unchecked affirmation where no one can touch “God’s anointed?”
To protect yourself from an attitude of entitlement, make sure you are not isolated, have a lack of accountability or are defensive.
