Over the past several weeks, we have looked at the characteristics of healthy student ministries. We have talked about being Gospel-Centered, Bible-Centric and Prayer-Infused. This week, we want to look at the importance of relationships in student ministry.
In John 13:34-35 (ESV), Jesus shared about the power of relationships. He stated, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Our love for one another will let the whole world know we are followers of Jesus.
Our relational mindset serves two purposes. One, it is an evangelistic endeavor as our love shows the world Jesus. Two, our prioritization of relationships is vital as we show students we care about them and invest in their lives. As many have said before, “People don’t care what you know until they know you care.”
Relationship is important, so how do we make sure that our students know that we care about them and are choosing to build a relationship with them? Here are some ways:
• Pray for your students. While we have talked about prayer before, as we seek to build relationships with our students, we want to begin by bringing our young men and women before the Father. As we think about our students and pray for them, our love and concern for them will grow. Always start with prayer.
• Ask students great questions. We have a tendency to ask students the same questions. How is school? How was your week? How is work? We fall into a similar pattern with adults as well, but they are used to small talk. Your students are looking for real and authentic relationships. Get creative and ask fun as well deeper questions:
What was your favorite lunch at school this week? What was the craziest video you watched this week? What do you dread about this upcoming week? Is there a teacher you are struggling with this year?
You get the idea. Think outside of the box and move beyond the cliche.
• Connect and communicate with your students throughout the week. This can take on all types of different forms. Phone calls, emails, texts and direct messages through social media are all options. The trick is to find the way your students communicate. You may have students that play online video games. Find avenues and be intentional. Connecting with students at their activities, such as band concerts and sporting events, are another way to build those relationships.
You don’t have to be the super cool guy to be a great youth pastor. That is definitely a mantra I have lived by because they don’t come nerdier than me. I have found success with students in building relationships and enlisting like-minded volunteers. It isn’t about the excitement. Ultimately, it is about the relationship.
Join us in the Student Ministry Matters Community Facebook group and let us know how you build relationships with your students.
