Let me start by saying that I am not an unappreciated pastor. I may have been in the past, but my church has loved on me in wonderful ways over the nine years that I have been at Calvary Baptist Church in Fayetteville. Individually and corporately, the congregation has done an outstanding job of making sure I feel appreciated as one of God’s servants. They have shared with us financially when we have been in need. They have offered words of encouragement and appreciation for our mere presence. It has been a great time serving with them, and I pray it doesn’t end any time soon. However, not all churches show appreciation and love to their pastor(s) the way that Calvary does. When Pastor Appreciation Month rolls around, it can be a reminder to many that they haven’t received any kind words or gifts. This can especially be the case for the “second” man. The youth pastor, the worship pastor and others may see the lead pastor appreciated and highlighted, but the secondary roles may be forgotten. While we don’t serve for the applause of men, it can be painful to wonder if your church even wants you around.
So, what does an unappreciated pastor do? Do we take our toys and leave if we don’t feel loved? No. If you find yourself a servant who rarely receives encouragement from your people, it is important to lean into other things to keep going when it gets difficult. Here are some things to keep in mind:
• Shore up your relationship with God. Knowing that God is for us and our ministry can help stave off a multitude of negative thoughts as we serve. The very God of the universe is there to supply what you need. He loves you. He cares for you. He is our biggest fan. Those are things that we know but can easily forget. Read the Word. Pray. Find encouraging books about our God relationship. There is no greater source of encouragement.
• Add encouraging people to other areas of your life. We like to feel successful and cared for. Perhaps you need to join a fitness group of some sort. I have found that most places’ running and biking communities are full of encouragers who want to see you succeed. I have found some extra encouragement in a Rush Running Speed Group, Taekwondo classes and even from a group of buddies that I ride bikes with two to three times a week. It doesn’t have to be something physical either. Find a way you can give to the community. For four years, I was the voice of the Lincoln High School Football Team. Circumstances changed, and I no longer serve in that role, but it was always good to hear from attendees that they appreciated what I was doing for them.
• Find a Paul. All of us need a Paul and a Timothy. We need to be pouring into someone (Timothy) and being poured into by someone (Paul). This will more than likely be someone outside of your current congregation. Finding your “Paul” may take a while, but it is worth the effort.
• Be an encourager. Lead by example. Show your people what it is to show gratitude and love. Be what you want them to be. If you work with students, this is incredibly important. They will mimic much of what you do. Hopefully, this is something you can show them and they can carry with them into adulthood.
• Remember the ultimate goal of your ministry. It isn’t about personal gain or recognition. We serve because we are called. God has given us a great task. It takes ministerial grit to move forward even when we are down. Our goal is to know Jesus and make Him known. It isn’t about us. It is all about Him.
These aren’t the only things you can do to help yourself if you find that you are the “Unappreciated Pastor,” but they are a place to start. Talk with your spouse or other trusted confidants if you are struggling with these feelings. If you don’t talk it out, a lack of appreciation can turn into feelings of resentment. Let us know what you think of Pastor Appreciation Month or other attempts by churches to make you feel loved. You can join the conversation at Facebook.com/groups/StudentMinistryMattersCommunity.
