By Dr. Brian D. Sheppard
The announcement on Nov. 6 of the tragic passing of 24-year-old Dallas Cowboys player Marshawn Kneeland due to suicide is a stark reminder of the urgent need to address mental health issues. This heartbreaking loss emphasizes that mental health can impact anyone, irrespective of their age, status or success. We must honor his memory by actively fostering open conversations about mental health and supporting one another. It’s time to take action and break the stigma surrounding these vital discussions.
As someone devoted to helping families and especially assisting Christian parents to minister to their children’s hearts and minds, I write this article to assist you, parents, pastors, teachers and Sunday school leaders, in how to talk to your children about suicide and how to bring faith, hope, truth, compassion and realistic support into these tough conversations.
• Start with compassion, not panic. Children of various ages may hear about Marshawn Kneeland’s death on the news, from friends or on social media, and they may come to you with fear, confusion or even guilt. Begin by listening and ask open questions like, “What have you heard? How does that make you feel?” Reassure them you are there for them no matter what.
As Christians, we hold on to the truth that every life is sacred, created in the image of God (Gen. 1:27). When suicide enters the conversation, it touches on deep pains, feelings of desperation, isolation and hopelessness. Kids need to know that it is okay to feel hurt. It is not shameful to ask for help.
• Use age-appropriate language. For younger children (elementary age), you might say: “Sometimes someone is hurting so much inside, they feel like they can’t go on, and they try to end their life. It doesn’t mean they are bad, it means they’re very, very sad and need help.”
For older children/adolescents, you can go deeper: “When someone dies by suicide, it often means they believed they were trapped, alone, worthless. But in Christ we know we are never alone, God sees us and there is help available.”
Avoid graphic details or assigning blame. Avoid simplistic explanations like “He/she was weak.” Instead, emphasize: Even strong, successful people struggle with invisible wounds. Marshawn Kneeland exemplified talent, youth and promise, and yet, the unthinkable happened.
• We must connect faith, hope and reality. As the body of Christ, we bring a faith perspective that offers hope and meaning. You might say something like:“Jesus came to bring life, abundant life(John 10:10). That means when people feel like life is too much, we can bring that to Jesus and to caring people and say: ‘I need help.’”
At the same time, steer clear of platitudes that minimize suffering: “Everything happens for a reason” or “He’s in a better place” without acknowledging hurt. Instead, acknowledge the pain — “We are deeply saddened and broken by this loss,” offer hope — “God is with the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), and we can bring our pain to Him and to community” and provide action — “If you ever feel like life isn’t worth it, talk to someone—me, another adult you trust, or a counsellor.”
Then we must open the door to honest conversation. I describe this as having a H.O.T. conversation (Honest, Open and Transparent). Invite questions like: Why did this happen? Could it happen to someone like me? What should I do if someone I know is thinking about it? Encourage honesty: “Yes, someone might think about ending their life. That’s serious. It means they need help.” “No one should feel shame just for having hard thoughts.” “If you ever feel that way — or hear someone say they do — tell an adult right away.”
For older teens, you might share backup resources (for example, the U.S. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), while reminding them that the church family is also a safe space for help.
We must also model vulnerability and presence. Children learn from what they see. As parents and church leaders:
• Be honest about your own faith journey, struggles, and need for God’s grace.
• Let them see you seek help (from a pastor, Christian counselor or mentor) when you’re hurting.
• Practice emotional openness — say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed tonight; would you pray with me, or can I talk about this with someone?”
In the case of Marshawn Kneeland’s death, we cannot know all the inner story. But we do know that life and pain coexist. We know athletes, public figures and everyday people all wrestle with trauma, loss, identity and mental health. Show kids that reaching out for help is courageous, not shameful.
We must also implement practical steps in family life.
• Regular check-ins — Ask your children (or teen) how their emotional world is, not just “How was school?” but “How are you inside today?”
• Create a safe space — Have a designated adult (who could be you) that the child knows they can come to with any thought, even if strange or scary.
• Prepare for warning signs — Teach them the signs of crisis, such as withdrawing, giving away belongings, talking about being a burden or sudden mood changes. If these symptoms appear, take them seriously and seek professional help immediately.
• Rehearse response — “If I ever hear someone say they feel like ending their life, I will tell an adult right away. We won’t promise secrecy to protect a child in crisis.”
• Faith connection — Encourage daily rhythms of prayer, Scripture and community — these anchor us when storms come.
We must strongly promote the church’s role in this discussion. The local church (your congregation) needs to be active. Pastors and Sunday school teachers should recognize signs of distress in children and families. Provide training for volunteers on mental health first aid, especially in youth ministries. Offer gentle sermons or classes on topics like “When the strong feel weak,” “Mental health and the gospel” and “We are not alone in suffering.” Maintain confidentiality, but also keep avenues open for referrals to Christian therapists or professionals.
Remember, there is hope beyond the horizon. Tragically, in Marshawn Kneeland’s passing, we witness a promising young life cut short. It is a sobering reminder that even “successful” lives may have hidden pain. For Christian families, it calls us to deeper vigilance, more compassionate communication and steadfast hope in Christ.
Parents, you are the primary spiritual and emotional guides for your children. But you don’t walk this alone. The church, Christian counsellors and community resources stand with you. In the midst of darkness, let us shine the light of Christ: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3 ESV).
Talking about suicide is hard, but ignoring it is far harder. Let us speak with truth and love. Let our children know: “If you ever feel like you are at the end of yourself, come to me, come to someone you trust, come to God. You are seen. You are loved. You are not alone.”
If you or someone in your family is in immediate danger of self-harm, please call 988 (in the U.S.) or your country’s mental-health emergency number.
May God comfort all who mourn and strengthen all who serve vulnerable lives.
