By Bill Elliff
Some need it more than others, and some need it more with certain people. But for all who possess it, patience is one of God’s best virtues. The lack of this fruit of God’s Spirit in our lives creates a huge door for the Enemy to invade a life, a home, a church, a community. And it’s never pretty.
People test our patience. We disagree with what they think, how they operate, their timing, and their ways, and we lose our patience. In reality, we don’t lose anything — this test just reveals who we really are and how much we need Christ.
Impatience with someone and the inability to overlook a (seeming) offense are the sources of much strife, particularly in the home. Think of what your life would be like if you eliminated all impatience.
It’s for the Insightful
“A person’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense” (Prov. 19:11 CSB).
The old adage is that we need to “walk in another man’s shoes” before we pass judgment on him. All of us are the product of many influences. Family backgrounds, personal history, good and unwise choices, things that we did, and things that were done to us. All of this molds people. A wise man takes this into account when dealing with others.
But behind all of that is the creature that God made, fearfully and wonderfully. Each person you meet has been designed by God to be something unique and extraordinary. That is why they are not like you, and you are not like them. In their most righteous state, they will think very differently and add the unique difference that completes the picture. In their most unrighteous state, this is complicated and makes it even harder to see who they could be (who they were in the mind of God when He created them).
A godly man won’t rush to judgment. He will be wise, compassionate, and discerning. Those whom God puts in his path will be studied by him, not marked off the list. He will see their potential. With insight, a godly man knows that he may be the very one God has ordained to help the needy come to wholeness and fruitfulness.
When you have insight into another’s soul, you will be more patient and, in your patience and love, you will be more willing to overlook that which personally offends you. This doesn’t mean that we ignore sin and its consequences. It just means that, just like Jesus, we are willing to endure personal offenses for the greater good of helping a brother or sister.
Also, an insightful man will humbly see that, just because someone “rubs them the wrong way,” doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Their differences, so disturbing to us, may be the very components we need to have in our lives or on our team. An administrator needs a creative. A creative needs someone with structure and systems. Those two can kill each other with constant irritations or embrace each other’s gifting and be better together.
Any healthy marriage is a combination of two very different people who have learned to embrace each other’s differences and even overlook personal offenses. They know that even their mate’s weaknesses, when properly responded to, will help them grow into the likeness of Christ.
If Christ had not looked at us with patience, He would have never gone to the cross on our behalf. He saw our need and gave His life to solve our greatest deficiency.
It’s for the Spirit-Filled
But we must remember the singular Source. God-sized patience — the kind we ultimately need — is found in one place.
“I say, then, walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not carry out the desire of the flesh… But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal. 5:16, 22-23 CSB).
The ultimate path for patience is to recognize your need and humbly follow God’s Spirit. You can be filled (controlled, led) by Him as you submit to His control. If you are following Him, you “will not” do what your mere humanity desires. But His life will flow through you, and in this life is the highest, purest form of patience. Walk with Christ, and as C.S. Lewis once observed, “You will get everything else thrown in.”
