This past weekend, I finally enjoyed a Christmas gift from my family. They had gotten me two tickets to the Weird Al Yankovic concert at the AMP in Rogers, Ark. They knew I was so cheap that I wouldn’t have bought the tickets myself, but they also knew I’d have a blast going with my brother — and they were right. We were entertained with new songs and classics we grew up on. It was a wild night and possibly one of the best concerts I’ve been to at the AMP.
As my brother and I walked up to the line to get in, we were both struck by the unusual crowd that was there. One, it was huge. The line seemed to stretch on forever. I always thought we were the different ones by listening to Weird Al, but apparently, there are a lot of us out there. Two, it was definitely an eclectic crowd. I am a strange dude, but this crowd was next level. Weird Al is known for wearing Hawaiian shirts, so I busted mine out of the closet and thought I would fit right in. Nope. My attire was mild. My brother said he felt like he was probably the most boring guy there with his ball cap and brown shirt. He was probably right. As we looked around from our seats before the concert started, we saw that the place was packed in the seats and the lawn behind. Weird Al had drawn all the weirdos from around the area together. His accordion-filled music and wild sense of humor draw a specific crowd of people.
What draws people to Weird Al? I think it is his acceptance. The concert was a great gathering of weirdos, nerds and fun people. They are not the “cool” kids by any stretch of the imagination. They are simply people who are a little different, who don’t always fit in.
That is what our students are looking for. They crave acceptance. Now, I am not saying to avoid dealing with the sins they have in their lives. I am saying that they need us to say, “You are loved. You might be a little strange, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
So, how do we help them feel accepted? Here are a few ideas:
• Show up. The students who are on the fringes may not have people show up for their concerts or performances. Showing up for them is an incredible way to show care. They may not thank you for being there, but it will mean a lot. Also, think out of the box. While the school things are the easy ones to show up for, see what else they are involved in. Are they into martial arts? Go to a tournament or belt testing. Are they into robotics? Check out their competitions.
• Listen to them. Some students are easier to listen to than others. There is no denying that. The socially awkward student may not know how to limit his or her sharing. Or they may not know how to speak to anyone. The effort to hear what they are saying is worth it. Students want someone to listen and really hear what they are saying. Their parents or other adults in their lives may have even given up. Don’t be that person. Work at it. Show patience. When you do, you will have the opportunity to speak into their lives.
• Learn more about their interests. I remember one parent speaking to me several years back. He was trying to connect with his stepson but couldn’t figure it out. He wanted to connect, but as he put it, “I don’t like any of the things that he is interested in.” You may not like the things in your student’s life, but that doesn’t change the need for us to learn about them and be able to talk to them. They may love weird music, strange fandoms or maybe even anime. Those may not be things that interest you, but for some reason, they have caught the student’s attention. Learn about the things that spark their passion.
• Tell them that you care. Words matter. You can communicate those words in a variety of ways, but your students need to know that you care about them because you have told them. Can we text or message them? Sure. Can we send them a note? Again, yes. However, the best way to express that care is to look them in the eye and say to them that they are loved. We are afraid to use certain words, but we can’t shy away from this one. They may have never heard someone say, “I love you. I’m proud of you.” Those can be life-changing.
Guess what? These are the same tools you need any time you are working with students. They need you to be there. They need to know they can talk with you. And they need to hear that you and God care about them. I tend to connect with the kids on the fringe. I can talk all day about nerdy things that you might think have no value. However, they are valuable to these students. Show your students that you love and accept them, no matter how weird they may seem.
How do you connect with the students in your ministry? What steps do you consider as you try to show love to the teenagers in your life? Join the conversation at Facebook.com/groups/StudentMinistryMattersCommunity.
